Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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