So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
