so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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