I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
