ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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