Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
