conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
