you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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