Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
