Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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