You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
