shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
