oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
