Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
