I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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