it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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