I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
