just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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