i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
