Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Randomize
