is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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