Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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