I am in a vortex of obligation.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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