i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
