i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
