I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
