Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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