Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
