If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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