I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
