I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
love makes seman taste better
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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