this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
