If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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