Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
