Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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