I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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