I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
