Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize