apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
