The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
