Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
