oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
