I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
