we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
babies were throwing up all over the place
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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