have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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