Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
