why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
