im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
