id be glad to
I just pynch a tree in the face
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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