yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
