It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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