There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
