I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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