This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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