Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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