Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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