so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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