we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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