What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
