don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
