mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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