I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
