If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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