every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
