it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
