can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
