first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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