I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
