those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
