Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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