I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Two words: blizzard sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
