Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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