I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
