Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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